Past your bedtime

Gord Reid

The new year has arrived and (amazingly enough) Rita MacNeil still has a television show. Granted, it is just the CBC, but people still have to see her as they flick through the channels. Why force yourself to endure countless ads for "Rita and Friends" when you could be lounging in the comfortable atmosphere of one of Winnipeg's late night hotspots with a frosty beverage in hand?

Be sure to visit Wise Guys on Campus as often as humanly possible. Yes, not only do your friendly people on the third floor offer a shelter from largesque Canadian singers, but the best in food, drink and live music. As always, Wednesday is Wingsday at the "silliest bar on campus." You absolutely, positively can't miss the 99¢ shooters and the finest 10¢ BBQ ribs in Western Canada.

Are you and your "significant other" the epitome of couplehood? Are you the embodiment of the perfect relationship? If so, then visit the Crispy Crunch Couple Search booth at Wise Guys on Campus between January 16-19. Bring your boyfriend, girlfriend, hamster or barn owl (people with barn owls get a free drink).

If Channel U keeps on running the "Rita MacNeil Christmas Special," you can always hide at Wise Guys Downtown. Two of Winnipeg's best loved local bands are featured in the coming week. Momentary Madness will be spreading temporary insanity from January 9th ot the 13th and Troy Westwood's Gypsy will be rolling its caravan on stage starting the 16th.

If your Friday night's lacking that "special something," chances are that it can be found at Wise Guys Downtown. Every Friday is shooter night! Order from any of the plethora of shooters available -- all for under $1.00. Confuse the bartenders and make up shooters as you go. Arrive early to take part in the FREE buffet. It's all you can eat between 5:00 and 7:00 p.m. Just don't tell Rita.

This article first ran in The Manitoban, Vol. 83, No. 19 (January 10, 1996). This, my second foray into writing a crappy ad column, had both its good points and its miserable ones. For a column that namedrops Rita MacNeil as much as this one did, you'd think that I would make sure I spelled her name correctly. Nope. I misspelled her last name "McNeil" twice. (You'd think I checked the TV Guide...nope.) Worse yet, I misspelled the name of the bar whose wares I was getting overpaid to promote. "Wiseguys" is actually Wise Guys. Two words. (You'd think I'd check the sign above the bar's door. Or the logo atop the column...nope.) And isn't it odd that a bar would promote BBQ ribs on "Wingsday"? (Especially bargain-priced ribs like the ones I mentioned, huh?) Another fault on my part.

I am impressed with my word play in the next-to-last paragraph. An interesting note: Troy Westwood is the placekicker of the Winnipeg Blue Bombers, the local CFL franchise. In the offseason (which begins in late November), he moonlights as the frontman for crappy bar bands. Aside from "Gypsy", I believe he fronted the equally insignificant "Eagle and Hawk." Oh yeah...that reminds me, I spelled "significant" incorrectly too. (You'd think that I'd have decent copy editing... nope.)