These are a few of my favorite things

Here I will document, in groups of ten at at time, some of the little things that make me tick...or twitch, as things may be. Enjoy.

12/10/01 -- Why? Because I can.

Favorites, Part 1. Instead of bitching about some trivial matter or relating belated tales of dead goldfish, I'm going to do something a bit different. Today, I am going to tell you a bit about myself. I'm not going to tell you crap that you already know -- look on the Knuckles page for that. Here (and perhaps in later installments) you will find out about the little things that make me happy in life. And I mean little.

Favorite French-language game show: Que le meilleur gagne!
Favorite bluegrass cover of a gangsta rap song: Gin And Juice by The Gourds
Favorite name for an ore-bearing mineral: Skutterudite
Favorite Star Wars character: Wedge
Favorite menu item at A&W: Grandpa Burger with cheese, no pickles or onions
Favorite badly-dubbed German porno: Teenie Nineteen Anal Groupies
Favorite ice cream flavour: Maple walnut
Favorite city name in a Southern state: Peculiar, MO (with a close second going to Crockett's Bluff, AR)
Favorite Portugese slur: Tu cheiras como peixe estragado. (Translation: You smell like rancid fish.)
Favorite line from the comic strip Bloom County: Ted Koppel is a waffle -- the Banana Junior 6000

Maybe I'll compile another list in a few weeks...

12/29/01 -- Continuing a foolish meme.

Favorites, Part 2. Here's another batch of a few of my favorite things. I'm thinking of getting of getting a blonde dye-job, moving to Austria and joining a convent. Them nuns is hot stuff, baby.

Favorite movement in the Carmina Burana: In taberna quando sumus
Favorite name of an Anglo-Saxon king of England: Ethelbald
Favorite porn star from the early 1990s: Flame
Favorite number: 48
Favorite ride at the Red River Exhibition: The Zipper
Favorite Christmas present (2001): My Monty Python and the Holy Grail Special Edition DVD
Favorite girly cocktail: Blue Lagoon
Favorite TV commercial for a brand of dog treat: "I smell bacon!" (Beggin Strips)
Favorite drag racer: John Force
Favorite name for a "patented" professional wrestling move: The Moss-Covered Three-Handled Family Credenza (a twisting fisherman's suplex belonging to Perry Saturn)

More entries to follow eventually...

1/19/02 -- As if you cared...

Favorites, Part 3. I'm sure that nobody reads these, but here of some more things that make my penis itch...besides this nasty infection.

Favorite eradicated disease: Scurvy
Favorite golf club: Pitching wedge
Favorite SI unit (electrical): Ampere
Favorite colour: Orange (duh!)
Favorite condiment: Barbecue sauce
Favorite badly-translated Japanese arcade game: Violence Fight (featuring Lick Joe...DOGOOON!)
Favorite "World's Strongest Man" contestant: Magnus ver Magnuson
Favorite phrase seen on the back of a motorcycle club t-shirt: "If you can read this, my bitch fell off."
Favorite name for a shooter (alcoholic): Gordie Howe
Favorite thing that never happened to me: I was at a TV nostalgia convention in Las Vegas, and I started hanging around with some 1970s sitcom celebrities in the hotel bar. One thing led to another and I was invited to by Jack Klugman, Norman Fell, Pat Morita, Conrad Bain, and Robin Leach to go back to their hotel suite and help them tag team some Hungarian prostitutes. Having just polished off a bottle of absinthe with Gabe Kaplan, I was game for about anything. Bain had firsties, followed by Morita. I was supposed to be next, but just before Morita climaxed we heard screaming from outside the door. Dinah Shore had spent the night experimenting with a nasty combination of dandelion wine, magic mushrooms, crank and Mr. Pibb, and was putting out imaginary fires using the hotel's fire hose. Fearing the police, the hooker dashed out the open door, taking my (mostly-empty) wallet as she left. Needing money myself, I grabbed Klugman's wallet on the way out. It turns out that being Quincy can open a lot of doors for you.

Man, if only that had been caught on tape...

3/23/02 -- When the dog bites; when the bee stings...

Favorites, Part 4. Giving the Favorites their own page would require a new entry.

Least favorite Jolly Rancher flavor: Watermelon
Least favorite Backstreet Boy: Howie
Least favorite licence plate: New Mexico's hot air balloon plate
Least favorite professional hockey player: The gravy-sucking pig himself, Keith Tkachuk
Least favorite Shakespearean protagonist: Hamlet
Least favorite primate: The mandrill
Least favorite metamorphic mineral: Serpentine
Least favorite elementary school teacher: Mr. Fraser (5th grade)
Least favorite Zodiacal constellation: Libra. (My own sign...the constellation is a fucking square, ffs!)
Least favorite wrestling personality to make an appearance in a major motion picture: Paul Heyman, Rollerball

4/6/02 -- Quelle est ton couleur favorite?

Favorites, Part 4. Orange is spelled the same in French *and* English.

Favorite former MTV VJ: Kennedy
Favorite canal: Suez Canal
Favorite comic book (circa 1987): The New Mutants
Favorite pet name for female genitalia: Twat
Favorite disco song: Disco Inferno by The Trammps
Favorite Canadian journalist: Allan Fotheringham
Favorite candy: Sour Skittles
Favorite font: Courier
Favorite food dye: Yellow No. 5
Favorite vitamin: Vitamin K

6/7/02 -- I've left this be for far too long...

Favorites, Part 5. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away from my shithole of a workplace...

Favorite team competing in the 2002 World Cup: Ireland (with a close second to Senegal)
Favorite fruit: Granny Smith apples
Favorite song from my high school choir days: 'My Love Is Like A Red, Red Rose' (a Robert Burns poem set to three-part BBT harmony)
Favorite recurring guest on a 1980s sitcom: Mel Tormé
Favorite Microsoft Office application: Excel
Favorite adjective used to describe drivers who piss me off during my commute: Cum-guzzling
Favorite Greek word: Souvlaki
Favorite Spice Girl: First it was Baby, but that was quickly changed to Sporty. Now I'm firmly in the Ginger camp. It's raining men!
Favorite patriotic song: Battle Hymn of the Republic
Favorite battle of antiquity: Battle of Thermopylae, 480 BC.

Eventually, I won't care enough to add more of these things.

9/4/02 -- Favorites? Bookmarks? Hotlist?

Favorites, Part 6. I've had 'em all.

Favorite retired name for a MLB franchise: Houston Colt .45s
Favorite type of cloud: Stratocumulus
Favorite IM software: MSN Messenger
Favorite name for a European currency: Zloty
Favorite nom de plume for a member of GWAR: Jizmak Da Gusha
Favorite Battlebot: Little Drummer Boy
Favorite bottle of scotch whisky: Macallan 18-year old (distilled in 1974)
Favorite accent: The circumflex
Favorite species of roadkill: Armadillo
Favorite brand of stamper ink: Ideal

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens... -- blandscotsman@hotmail.com