Chunky, phlegmy pieces of blog

There's something special about watching a Dallas Cowboys preseason game broadcast in Spanish. I'm never sure what the announcers are saying, but judging from the play and my limited knowledge of the language I can get the jist. The Spanish channel dispenses with the flashy graphics (due to cost restrictions, I'm sure), but has far fewer commercials. Also, in true "machismo" fashion, the sideline cameras leer at the cheerleaders without admonishment of any kind. Oh yeah, there's a five hour tape delay. Nice.

Caramelhead and I sat through almost all of MTV's Video Music Awards (old link removed). Man, what a trainwreck. Bungled intros, horrible interviewing from a usually dependable Kurt Loder and the (potentially) funniest spot with Triumph the Insult Comic Dog was interrupted when Eminem confronted Triumph's handler, Moby and the camera crew. MTV, fearing an ugly incident, cut to commercial. Eminem was booed by one fan when he accepted an award (in the next segment nonetheless). When he threatened the heckler, the whole crowd booed him. What was Michelle Branch wearing? (And why couldn't she take the advice of MTV viewers?) Finally, I doubt I was the only person to start surfing halfway through Guns 'n' Roses' performance. Axl sounded horrible and the band, while sounding reasonably authentic, looked like a bunch of Slipknot/ICP rejects. Not an audicious return, by any means.

God bless TNT -- they're playing True Romance. I love that movie. Give the casting directors kudos, as the movie oozes talent: Aside from the stars (Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette), the movie boasts an incredible supporting cast (Dennis Hopper, Gary Oldman, Val Kilmer, Brad Pitt and Bronson Pinchot). The movie also helped a pair of pretty famous actors get their breaks: James Gandolfini (in his second role), Michael Rapaport (in his fourth), Tom Sizemore and Chris Penn. Oh yeah, the movie was written by some fool named Tarantino, before most people knew who he was.

Britney Spears agrees to sing a duet with Tiger Woods at a Montreal strip club. Sort of. Actually, a Montreal DJ impersonating Celine Dion convinced our beloved Ms. Spears to perform at a fictional charity event. I hear she's also going to be teaching Jean Chretien how to dance in Laval and has been booked for a marzipan eating contest in Jonquiere. But I may be wrong...